Artemisia Shepard, War Hero
by Midnight Unicorn
Summary: The child of Spacers, a War Hero, an Infiltrator...worst Mako driver EVER. And other ficlets of a more serious nature. Guest appearances: Wrex, Tali, Liara, Dr Chakwas, Zaeed, Miranda, Grunt, Morinth, Thane, Gardner, Kasumi, Joker,EDI and Hannah Shepard
1. Outtake 1: Distractions

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero**  
><strong>By: Midnight Unicorn<strong>  
>Disclaimers: Main character is semi-mine, others and places are not<p>

_This has the potential to be a series of one-shots. I've only been playing the game for a couple of days and am not very far into it. Further context provided post story_

Outtake 1: Distractions

Commander Shepard was good at many things, very good, the best, even. A Mako driver was not one of those things. Certain his shoulder guard was cracked after the hard impact with the port side wall, Garrus couldn't understand why he'd been shocked at the whiplash Alenko and Williams had come back from Rayingra with. He should have remembered three things: Agebinium, a chink in a faceplate and Tali's blunt refusal to accompany the Commander on any more missions involving the Mako. He was made of tougher stuff than the quarian, but that overzealous hunt for mineral deposits had been painful for him, too.

Wrex, bloody savage that he was, laughed as Shepard attempted to scale a nearly vertical face, backwards. The krogan knew Garrus was too well-mannered to complain, in fact, doing so often seemed to result in an increase in injuries, so he confined himself to tapping his foot anxiously against the leg of Shepard's seat.

Casbin had been quite pretty, viewed from the Normandy, with pale to dark green shades livening the barren rocky face, but its sharply mountainous surface was proving to be a personal hell, compounded by a blossoming headache as his temple collided with the wall next.

"Garrus," Shepard's dry voice carried easily in the confined cabin. "You're distracting me."

The turian did not understand until what he thought was a part of the driver's seat shifted and he realized he'd been tapping her armored calf. "Apologies," he stammered, drawing his long legs back quickly.

He resolved to punch Wrex soon if he kept chuckling like that, certain he could get away with it if he timed it with one of Shepard's reckless turns on a downward slope.

_A/N: I began playing this game with the express intent of pairing up Garrus and Shepard in the second game, so everything I do it colored by that. While doing the mission on Casbin, my boyfriend was tickling my leg with his foot, which inspired this fic. Also, this is the first game I've ever played with this type of controller, before this the most advanced controller game I played with Crash Bandicoot. While I'm getting better at the running and not pointing the camera at the ceiling, when it comes to the Mako...well, it's entertaining at least._

_Thank you for reading, comments are appreciated.  
>~Midnight<br>_


	2. Outtake 2: Faith

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero**  
><strong>By: Midnight Unicorn<strong>  
>Disclaimers: Main character is semi-mine, others and places are not<p>

_A/N One of my friends inspired this  
><em>

Outtake 2: Faith_  
><em>

"I thought she was improving," Liara said and Garrus couldn't help but glare at the soft-spoken asari.

"I _am_ getting better," Shepard insisted earnestly. She was leaning against the wall just inside the medical room, arms crossed loosely over her chest but Garrus was getting much better at reading human body language since joining the Normandy crew. Her hands tightly gripped the insides of her elbows; she was tense. "Nodacrux was just…insane."

"You didn't have to go after that cobalt," Tali retorted harshly. It was fortunate her voice was so expressive,because without a face to read and her physical movements so understated and often meaningless, it was the only way to gauge her emotional state. And for her to be so angry was significant.

"It's an assignment from the Alliance," Shepard defended herself, shifting her shoulders so the wall mounted kit dug into her bones a different way.

"I have seen those orders." Garrus could understand Tali's distress; after Aleutsk Valley and Shepard's maneuvering on the approach to Virmire to take out the AA guns, their faith had been restored in her ability to guide the Mako—how could it not? It had been impressive. But here they were, in Chakwas' care with a crack in Tali's faceplate _again_ and a possible concussion (which was impressive for a different reason). "That is a low priority objective, if it puts no one at risk."

Shepard pressed her lips tight against her initial response, which was also not a good sign. "Doctor," she redirected her attention. "Has she been exposed to anything?"

"No, Commander," the older woman answered calmly. "Only the outer layer broke this time. Still," she looked at Shepard evenly. "You ought to be more careful."

In response, Shepard pushed herself upright and gave her a sarcastic salute, before turning her back to them and opening the door. "We'll discuss this when you've calmed down, Tali," she said sharply and left.

Garrus glanced over at the quarian, who was looking at her lap, but jumped a little when Liara touched her shoulder reassuringly. "I'm certain she did not mean to cause you harm." Her gray blue gaze flickered to Garrus to indicate she addressed him as well.

"I know that," Tali sighed, getting to her feet. "She is right, I overreacted. I'm not even hurt much, I was just afraid."

"We understand, dear," Doctor Chakwas smiled gently. "So does the Commander." Now she turned back to Garrus. "Let me see your head."

Although he wanted nothing more than to leave he submitted to the Doctor's examination, delayed until the consequences of Tali's compromised helmet were determined. In his impatience he insisted he felt fine, though his gizzards twisted a little at his dishonesty.

"Very well," the doctor sighed, and he was sure she knew he wasn't being truthful. "If you feel any dizziness or sickness, come back to me."

"If you see the Commander before I do, tell her I apologize," Tali requested as he left.

"Will do," he nodded and his head ached at the motion. He hadn't quite made up his mind if he was going to look for the Commander or just return below to check on the Mako when he heard an odd pinging noise to his right. Most of the crewmen who loitered in the commons of the quarters had turned in for the evening hours and no one was in sight.

He instinctively slid a hand back to his pistol, peering around narrow-eyed and then a chill raced up his spine. The sound was coming from the control panels of the sleeper pods where Alenko could almost be always found, which most avoided now except out of need, from respect or superstition.

No less wary, Garrus crept over until he could see over the barrier and recognized the dark auburn head seated on the other side. Shepard looked up quickly, alert as ever, and then gave a crooked smile. "Glad to see Chakwas didn't have to put you on bed rest."

"I told her I feel alright," he answered, stepping closer. He discovered the source of the pinging sound was a small, bright green ball that she was throwing against the wall and catching as it bounced back.

"Do you?" she asked. Garrus had met many asari with deep gazes, a trait acquired with years and active involvement with other races, but none of them had the kind of focused intensity Shepard turned on him at that moment, bright eyes burning violet in the dim light.

"No, not really, but I will be." Even as he said this, a wave of dizziness made the floor swim, so, telling himself it would be politer to sit and not make her get up, he did so.

"Catch." The ball whizzed by his head, bounced off the wall and back into her hand in the time it took him to turn and look. "You know, medi-gel works better when it's used," she said grimly.

Years of training clamored for him to obey his commanding officer, but then he realized she wasn't giving him an order. Before he could remark on this, she had returned her gaze to her target and was speaking again. "I am sorry I got you hurt. And Tali."

"I understand, Commander, you want to achieve the objectives entrusted to you." He certainly didn't begrudge her that.

"I do, but not at the cost of peoples' lives." There was something raw about the way she spoke that was frightening, and he wasn't sure why. "There are too many enemies shooting at us for me to be the one to make you bleed." She exhaled sharply and then inhaled slow and deep through her nose, calming herself.

"Commander—" Garrus stopped when she stood, looking around at the quarters and then to the medical room. What could he say, anyway? He had missed something important and his muddled mind scrambled to track it down.

"I'd better go talk to Tali. You should get some rest."

He struggled to his feet as she walked away. "Commander, wait." She did pause, head tipped to signify he had her attention, but she did not turn back. "Don't second guess yourself. We all trust you." He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously, and then grimaced. "Bruises and all."

He could just barely see her smile. "Thanks, Garrus."

Shepard disappeared into the medical room, leaving Garrus with a fierce headache but a sense of satisfaction.

_A/N Don't let others make you doubt; trust your decisions. Also, no I don't hate Tali._


	3. Outtake 3: Oath

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero**  
><strong>By: Midnight Unicorn<strong>  
><em>Disclaimers: Main character is semi-mine, others and places are not<em>

Seeing Garrus floored by that explosion was oddly familiar. Shepard watched, momentarily disconnected from her emotions as the dark turian blood stained the carpet. It was like finding Nihlus' body, only a hundred times better and a thousand times worse. Better, because Nihlus was dead, his face a shattered ruin pressed into the ground—with the experience of years in battle she overcame the shock that threatened to cripple her—and Garrus would get back up. He had to, she needed him to.

Keeping low in case any snipers still lurked, she scrambled over to him, gripping his shoulder. A thousand times worse, because Nihlus was interesting, but only an acquaintance, and when he was dead, it was over. Garrus was a friend, a comrade, so much more important. And there was fear in his small, deep set eyes as she leaned over him, fear and pain that should never be in the eyes of a predator like him.

_I'll kill them all_, she swore fiercely to herself, one eye on Garrus, the other on the lookout for enemies as they rushed to the pick up with the Normandy. _Eclipse, Blue Suns, Blood Pack…all of them. Dead._


	4. Outtake 4: Taunt

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimers: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_A shoutout to my boyfriend for help with Zaeed's characterization._**  
><strong>

Zaeed nearly fell when he stepped out of the Hammerhead and had to grip the frame to keep his legs under him. The heat of Karumto had worked its way through the metal structure and sweat ran down his face.

A step down and he was engulfed in Normandy's blessedly cool, controlled environment and wonderfully solid, stable, non-volcanic floor. He looked up and saw Garrus waiting expectantly, a smirk pulling the undamaged side of his face.

"Did you have a nice ride?" he asked, tone so innocent it might have fooled someone else. Might.

Shepard exhaled sharply, swiping her hair back from her face. "Shut up, Garrus."

"Nicer than the rides I've had with your mum, turian," Zaeed answered with bravado. Shepard made an odd face, like she couldn't decide whether to laugh or scold. "At least I'm walking away from this one."

Garrus didn't rise to the bait, in fact, he snorted. "_Limping_ away. Don't fall before you reach Chakwas. She can soothe your old bones."

If Shepard hadn't been standing right there, Zaeed might have done more than just consider putting a concussive round between Garrus' shoulder blades. The turian probably knew it, too, damn him. Zaeed settled on an ineffectual glare and plotted to tamper with the harnesses next time Garrus went with Shepard.

_A/N: Thank you to Midnight Genius for all the reviews. To Jota-J-Krios and Firecookie for faving my baby, and to Jon36155 and RayneEthelwulf for the alerts; I have a bit of a back stock, so there'll be more soon._**  
><strong>


	5. Outtake 5: Siblings

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimers: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not.

_As of five minutes ago I beat the second game for the first time. Hooray!_

**.  
><strong>

Garrus watched Miranda for a moment, wondering what is must be like to talk to someone you've protected all their lives without them knowing. Then he turned away respectfully, looking to see where the Commander had gone. Her back was to him as she leaned her elbows on the rail overlooking the vista, Illium spread out in its deceptive splendor, the sunset lights fading to blues and purples in the night, making the pink and red and yellow artificial lights seem that much gaudier.

"It's pretty if you don't think about it," Shepard said as he approached, clearly thinking along the same lines.

"Reality makes everything uglier," Garrus answered carelessly, standing beside her. "Well, I suppose that isn't always true," he amended quietly, glancing briefly back at Miranda and her sister.

Shepard also looked over at the foursome and then up at Garrus, violet eyes intent. "Something on your mind?"

"I'm fine, Commander." Garrus said that so often now, it almost seemed true.

This time she just nodded and returned to the view. "Do you have any siblings we need to catch up with?"

The turian smiled humorlessly. "Nothing nearly so warm." She eyed him curiously at that cryptic response, but he shrugged dismissively. "Yes, my sister, but she's safe on Palaven." She'd better be. "But, turians are encouraged to look after and form bonds with their age-mates, sometimes more than their blood relations."

"Makes sense, since you end up servings with them and need them to watch your back."

Garrus nodded "Precisely." After a spell of comfortable silence, he thought to ask: "What about you? A sister to save, perhaps a brother who needs tactical support?"

Shepard smiled crookedly before answering. "My mother never wanted children in the first place. She wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, even if it meant I never spent more than a few hours with anyone my own age until I was eight."

"That must have been difficult." Garrus' tone was even; she didn't seem to be looking for sympathy and her dismissive shrug confirmed that.

"It was the way things were. Surrounded by adults I had to learn things fast to get what I wanted, determination, resourcefulness, I had to be cleverer and more careful than them." Her smile had a distinct wolf-like edge when she looked up at him. "I'd say I benefited from that."

"You and the entire galaxy," Garrus said, offering a small smile of his own. "Myself not the least among them."

"Nor I." Shepard straightened and the pair turned to Miranda who rejoined them. Her pale lips trembled slightly and there was a faint flush high in her cheeks, but her gaze was steady and clear. "Let's go." Shepard nodded and led the way to the elevator.

.

_Thank you Gischa for the fav. A belated thank you also to Suffering Soldier for their helpful comments._


	6. Outtake 6: Headache

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not**  
><strong>

Panting, Garrus dropped back against a pillar, expelling a thermal clip and waiting for the Thresher Maw to reemerge, taking stock as quickly as he could. Risking exposure, he stooped to snag a discarded clip, spying Grunt also taking advantage of a moment to breath, one hand on the ground, alert to vibrations.

He couldn't see Shepard in his first scan. Rifle ready, he hurried out, gaze darting around till he spotted her crouching behind a column and clearly searching for something in her hip pouch. "Shepard, what are you doing?" he demanded, moving to cover, and was alarmed to see her rifle on the ground.

She looked up sharply, eyes narrowed and pale purple, and then looked over at Grunt. "Fuck this." Leaving her rifle, she reached behind and seized the Collector Particle Beam. Alerted, Garrus also swung around to face the renewed threat.

Although he had a personal dislike of the salvaged weapon, he couldn't' deny its effectiveness when the Thresher Maw fell to the ground less than a minute later. "That was a risk, Commander," he remarked lightly.

She still had an angered expression but before she could retort, they were confronted by Uvenk and his followers, and wasn't he glad he was still armed? Not that he really needed it, something had clearly enraged Shepard and she charged forward, pulling out her pistol which she was as accurate and deadly with as any sniper with an eye to the scope.

Catching up to her, he found her leaning against the truck to get back to the Urdnot Camp, one hand in her hip pouch, the other rubbing her forehead. He hesitated and then went to her and gingerly touched her shoulder. "Commander, are you alright?"

"Got any pain meds?" she asked in a low voice. "My head is killing me."

He blinked at the aggression still rolling off her and carefully withdrew his hand. "Are you injured?"

Instinctively, he fell back a step out of striking range when she shot him a glare with blood-shot eyes. "Go head butt a krogan and see how _you_ feel after!"

Wisely, Garrus said nothing, but for some reason, just as when she had interrupted Uvenk, his heart beat a little faster.

.

_Thank you to Scorcese for the fav. I'd really love comments/reviews/suggestions/ every once in a while :(_


	7. Outtake 7: Paralyzer

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimers: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_Loosely inspired by the titular song._

A couple arguing; boring. Two youths dancing closer and closer; pretty, but boring. A bar fight escalating; deadly boring.

Morinth sighed and stirred her drink idly; what a disappointment the night had been! Not a single person had held her interest for more than a few moments. Even that odd young man had quickly become dull and it was all she could do to get rid of him without raising a fuss.

Scanning the area below again, Morinth wrinkled her nose to see that very pest still hanging around, but he seemed to be bothering a human woman, hands spread beseechingly. She considered the woman briefly and was quickly rewarded to see her sharp reaction to the young man and how quickly he backed off, spineless puppy.

The woman moved like a fighter even though she was relaxed and in casual dress. The true warrior couldn't hide their grace, the way they understood their entire body and were aware of all the others in their space. Morinth leaned forward against the rail, glass tipping carelessly in her fist. Her heroic actions to help one of the dancers wasn't all that interesting, but an opportunity to watch her beautifully dispatch the turian, so neat and efficient—no blood, no broken bones, just sharp blows that would leave a reminder for days. The drive of a predator was equally difficult to disguise, however it expressed itself.

Mentally calming herself, Morinth sipped her drink that now tasted like bland, warm water and watched. The woman's conversation with the bartender bore fruit and a round of drinks was offered in thanks for patronage. How intriguing, she thought. Often the downside to the skilled soldier was they were incapable of turning it off; while brutality had its appeal, so did finesse and subtlety. The bartender did not appear agitated, so she had charmed him into this generous maneuver.

She danced without a partner, moving without dramatics to the flow and beat of the music. Admiring the curves and lengths, the hard limbs and soft places, Morinth imagined what she might do with such a body in a dark lit place, or even back at her own place. Realizing she was swaying in mirror with the woman below, she scolded herself to calm down, patted her warm cheeks and downed her drink; it didn't help. Seeing an asari dancing near the woman was moving closer, Morinth straightened, trembling with a desire to go down and stake her claim but just then the woman quit the dance floor and headed towards the stairs to the upper level.

Morinth caught her scanning eyes as she ascended and bit her lip. Instinctively she knew the woman would move past her if she didn't make herself known. This was not a youth out of place and longing for affection from anyone, or a sheltered artist aching for someone to see the world as they did. This woman was a master of life and death, and she knew it and she was looking for a particular type of person.

Morinth would be that.

Leaning casually half in shadow and concealing her excitement, Morinth spoke to her. Those fiery violet eyes blazed with purpose when they turned on her and Morinth had a thrilling sense of impending doom.

She moved closer.

_A thank you to Eros1369 and tattoodaffodil for your favs and alerts._


	8. Outtake 8: Decisions

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not.**  
><strong>

Garrus watched the Commander shift her weight, nervous because she was visibly indecisive. Shepard was never indecisive. "Commander, you don't have to do this," he said quickly, seeking to end this impasse. "Or at least you don't have to do it now."

"I do, though, Garrus," she said quietly, looking at him with purple eyes made eerie in the dim light. "I can't keep going, wondering."

"Lives are at stake," Thane put in his opinion with his usual cool indifference. "Perhaps a decision made in haste is not the best one."

"If you do this, you can't go back." It wasn't like Garrus cared one way or the other, he just wanted her to make up her damn mind!

"Commitment's not really my issue, Garrus," Shepard said dryly and then set her shoulders, nodding once. "I have to do this."

Head high, she lost some of her dignity when her own voice greeted her at Citadel Souvenirs. "I need two of those," she said to the attendant and pointed at the fish tank.

_Thank you to servantofclio, here's your first notification :)_


	9. Outtake 9: Gift

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_In honor of my grandfather._**  
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Even when he worked up the nerve to get on the elevator, Garrus still had to steel himself to go up to the Captain's Cabin. Yes, Shepard had given him permission to go there, but…he tried to distract himself from his conflicted thoughts, but there really wasn't anything until the elevator paused on the CIC and there stood Shepard herself.

She smiled warmly at him and asked, "Getting off?"

"Ah, not exactly, although…I was looking for you. There's…something I wanted to talk about," he said haltingly.

Shepard nodded, face calm and unreadable as she stepped in beside him. The doors shut. "What can I do for you?"

"Well it's just…when you died, I received something."

A confused frown overtook her face for a moment and then she tipped her head. "I forgot. My will."

"Yes. Needless to say I was surprised, but I kept them. I've been meaning to give them back." He started to offer the case he had been carrying, but she grabbed his forearm, keeping his arm at his side.

"Keep it." Her tone was soft but her eyes were hard, brokering no argument. "I never wanted them and I knew my mother wouldn't either, so I…I figured you'd understand them best." She let go of his arm and shifted her weight back since there wasn't room to move away in the elevator."

Though he'd been a little stunned by her vehemence, he was curious now. "I'm honored," he said quietly. "I'll keep them safe in case you change your mind."

Another smile and she shook her head. "I won't. It's…sort of a tradition, one of the few my mother and I bother with. My grandfather served without accepting a single medal, award, or honor, he said it was important that the work got done, not that everyone knew about it." The elevator doors opened but neither of them moved. "When he died my father received all those medals and gave them to grampa's best friend, and when my father died my mother did the same." She shrugged as if all of this was unimportant but her serious expression said otherwise. "I knew if I died before her she wouldn't want them."

Strive though he did, Garrus could not find words to describe the swell of gratitude, bewilderment and happiness that filled him. He settled for gripping her shoulder, willing her to understand. Shepard smiled, nodded her acceptance, and stepped out of the elevator, her back to him as the doors hissed shut.

_Little by little my baby is getting some love.  
>Thank you to Gentle Breezes for the fav.<br>Scorcese: I'm glad you were misdirected, that was the idea~ Per your request, an update.  
><em>


	10. Outtake 10: Questions

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_Two things inspired this: Kasumi's little gossip about Garrus liking Shepard, and wanting to have them do something not unlike a date, something of mutual interest but low pressure._**  
><strong>

"Do you get overwhelmed?" The question popped out before Garrus stopped to think about it, but once he'd said it, he really did want to know.

Shepard raised her eyebrows but her hands continued the familiar routine of cleaning her pistol. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged, buying time before answering by polishing the scope of his rifle. "All the expectations on you. Stopping the Collectors, the Reapers, saving the galaxy, and everyone along the way that you can."

Her mouth twisted in a grimace. "When you put it like that it's hard not to."

"I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Relax." She reached across the table to grasp his shoulder for a moment and then sat back again. "I do all that I can not to get overwhelmed. I know that if I lost it, it's not just my ass on the line. And I remember I'm not in this alone." She gave him a small smile he couldn't help returning, warmth building under his plates before he mentally ordered himself to calm down. "I have some of the best biotics the galaxy can offer helping me out, doctors, techs, and combatants to rival any others. I have a sniper and tactician who ate a rocket and was too stubborn to let it kill him."

Garrus smiled thinly; he didn't have the same feelings about that particular moment of his life that she did. "You'll make me blush, Commander," he said instead.

Shepard snorted and they resumed their work. She finished with her sidearm before speaking again. "Why did you ask?"

He tapped the table with the rod used to clean the length of the barrel, gaze thoughtful and unfocused. "Worry," he finally said slowly. "And awe. You…you keep it together so well, you don't lose control, even when I—" he stopped his bitter thoughts, shaking his head a little, and then looked at her with clear eyes. "It's all so much for one person, even someone as amazing and skilled as you."

"That's why I have my team." Her voice was so sure and calm he knew he'd never wonder again. "They keep me whole and safe. You keep me sane and happy."

This time Garrus reached over to her, touching the back of her hand, careful of his sharp talons. Shepard smiled and turned her hand over, tangling their fingers together loosely.

"Oi, I better not find any oil on that table later." Sergeant Gardner's barking voice broke in on their moment and Garrus pulled his hand back unobtrusively. "Isn't cleaning your guns what the armory's for?"

"Not the same as seeing to your own weapons," Shepard answered, slinging an arm over the back of her chair. "Keep your voice down, most of the crew is still asleep."

Gardner flapped a hand at her and muttered more quietly, but set about preparing the first meal.

"Guess that means we should clean up," Garrus remarked and Shepard smiled crookedly but nodded.

As soon as they were gone, Shepard to the elevator and Garrus shut up in the Main Battery, Garnder took off down the hall to the Port Observation and banged hard. Kasumi opened the door in a few seconds, one hand on her gun at the ready, but she relaxed when she saw him. "You were right!" he gasped.

"Of course I was," she said cheerfully, stepping back to allow him inside. "What about this time?"

"Commander Shepard and Garrus!"

Kasumi grinned. "I knew it!" It wasn't long before everyone else knew, too.

_A/N: I'm all a-glee._

_Scorcese: That 999,999,999 credits had to go somewhere xD_

_Gentle Breezes: I'm so glad you were able to empathize with the character. That makes me feel like I did well._

_Princess of Pluto: An alert AND a fav, thank you~ I'm very glad you've enjoyed it so far :3_


	11. Conflict: To Kill

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not.

_I've been dying to get these next chapters out, I held out as long as I could T_T_**  
><strong>

The whole way back from Zorya Garrus brooded on an inner conflict: it was her decision, he respected that, but it wasn't the kind of decision he'd ever seen her make, and that worried him. No one else had anything pressing to discuss, Zaeed seemed to be savoring the victory twenty years in the making and he couldn't exactly blame the man for that, but it made him angry. Jealous, even.

Shame burdened his emotions before they got heated, but for the shuttle ride back to the Normandy he couldn't bring himself to even look at Shepard. He was so focused on his own thoughts he didn't realize she'd followed him to the Main Battery until the door closed behind them.

"Commander, I'm not really in a good mood right now." He'd been hoping to have the quiet and familiarity of working with the ship's weapons to calm down and get a grip on his thoughts. "Perhaps we should talk later."

She crossed her arms and braced one leg. He knew that stance; she wasn't going anywhere. "What's on your mind, Garrus?" He wondered where she'd learned that trick, keeping her voice so soft and calm but her gaze was flinty and unyielding.

Garrus did not have that same skill; the agitation he's been fighting to keep hidden won out and he paced restlessly in the confined space, dark gaze fixed on Shepard. "I don't know which is worse, that you let all those factory workers die, or that you let Zaeed kill Vido." He paused after that out burst, waiting for her to say something, but her lips were pressed shut. "You don't even look the least bit upset about it! I don't understand, you…you never let civilians die like that, not if you can help it, and we _could_ have saved them, or at least some, I know we could. And you…" he smacked one fist against the other palm, struggling to control his anger and failing. "You let Zaeed kil…Vido. Why?" He stopped moving, staring at her intently. "Why?"

In the silence that followed he thought she wasn't going to answer; rage prickled beneath his mandibles, his scars ached. "Vido had to die."

"So did Sidonis!" She did not flinch when he shouted and stepped towards her, but her purple eyes narrowed. "You let a batarian pirate go free to save a handful of people. Sidonis led ten men and women, _good people_, to their deaths and you convinced me to let him live. Then you turn around and let a factory of people burn—"

"And every Blue Sun merc in there with them." Garrus couldn't think of a time she'd ever sounded so cold and ruthless. The confusion and anger overtook him and he seized her shoulders, unsure of his own intent.

He had the reach, but she had speed. Before he could do anything more, she thrust her hands up, breaking his grip. Her right elbow smashed into the undamaged side of his face and she used the twisting momentum of her torso to add power to her open-palmed, double-handed blow to his chest, forcing him back without harming him. It might have hurt more if he hadn't still been wearing his armor, but his back still didn't appreciate him slamming into the controls.

"I accept that you do not agree with my decision," she snapped, finally looking upset with a flush in her cheeks and fire in her eyes. "That does not give you permission to assault your commanding officer."

Humiliated, Garrus dropped his gaze, clenching his fists in frustration. "Commander, I didn't—"

He looked up quickly when the doors opened, but when he called her name she did not stop or turn and the doors shut her from view. Uncurling his fists, he realized his talons were tipped in blood.

_A/N: Immediately after I did Zaeed's loyalty mission and made this choice, this came to mind._

_Thank you Adams7 for faving my story~ If you don't do any romantic dialogue with any other character, Mordin will give you medical advice on your given relationship. But I agree, I wish there'd been more comments and jibing about the relationships._

_Scorcese: Given the way the romance scene plays out it always seemed clear to me it wasn't just 'blowing off steam' in the end, that it actually meant something to both of them, but the game doesn't really give you these insights to see a relationship blooming. That's what fanfic is for ^_^_


	12. Conflict: To Care

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not**  
><strong>

_Inspired by the fact that when you stand behind Joker, he amuses you_

Joker hated it when Commander Shepard was stewing over something. He didn't care about it on an interpersonal level—that's what people like Ashley and Chambers and Tali were for—or worry that it would affect her in a sticky spot; he didn't know anyone who could compartmentalize and prioritize as well as Commander Shepard. No, he hated it because somewhere, sometime in a life spent primarily aboard ships she had decided that the thing to do when she was upset was hang around the bridge.

Whatever pilots had told her that was okay he hated them, too, because she completely ignored him when he indicated his discomfort. She didn't pry or question him, she hardly said anything at all in the minutes or hours spent standing over him, glaring out at the passing stars and systems.

He could deal with it when it was every once in a while. It annoyed him, but it _was_ her ship. But three days in a row? This was ridiculous.

"EDI, what's up with the Commander?" he asked when Shepard was called away to receive her messages.

"I do not know."

"Of course you do, you're everywhere on this ship." He wished he'd thought to bring scraps to throw at her projection today. She couldn't feel it but for some reason it irritated her to no end, which means it amused him to no end. "What's she upset about?"

"I am not programmed with the ability to see into the minds of organics," she said tartly. "However, Commander Shepard has been less communicative and has taken little time to interact with the crew, which is her usual routine, since her return from Zorya. Perhaps it is because she and Garrus argued upon their return."

"Really?" Joker was intrigued despite himself. "What about?"

"I do not know. Garrus has turned off my auditory receptors in the Main Battery. I have retained visual capabilities only for some time now."

"Damn, that would have been useful."

"If you wish to restore Commander Shepard's state of mind, it is only logical that you assist her and Garrus in sorting out their disagreement."

"Yeah, yeah, I don't need to be a computer to figure out the 'logical conclusion,'" he retorted and then sighed before levering himself out of the pilot's seat. "Don't steal my chair."

"If only I could, Jeff."

Joker saw some of the navigators turn to watch him go by but they didn't say anything. It wasn't like he was expected to stay in that seat constantly and Chakwas had told him he should move around more. Shepard also eyed him curiously but he just saluted her playfully and made for the elevator. She returned to analyzing the galaxy map. He relaxed against a wall while the elevator ground its way to the next level down, hoping he didn't wear himself out with this excursion. He got grumpy when he was tired and for some reason EDI loved to harass him when he was grumpy.

More looks but no comments followed him down to the Main Battery and he almost stopped to say something but reminded himself not to waste his energy. The doors opened and Garrus turned around and looked just as surprised as everyone else to see Joker moving around.

"Yes, he can walk," he said sarcastically before Garrus spoke. "You and the Commander need to kiss and make up already. I don't really care about your lover's quarrels, but having her hang out on the bridge all the time is really damn annoying."

It really wasn't easy to read a turian's expression, especially when a quarter of his face was scarred and creepy looking, but even his tone was calm and meaningless. "That would imply the Commander and I were in a relationship, Joker."

"Yeah, whatever, say what you will—or don't, since that's what you've been doing—but everyone knows what's cooking between you two," he huffed impatiently and leaned against the door frame, taking his weight off one leg. "Honestly, _I don't care_, I just want the Commander to do something besides hover around the bridge. I don't know if I've ever suffered a more awkward experience in my life."

"I feel for you, Joker, really I do."

His sarcasm just irritated the hell out of Joker. "Wow Garrus, you had me fooled. I thought you'd care that she was upset. Guess you had her fooled, too."

"Of course I care," Garrus snapped and Joker smirked grimly. "But what the Commander chooses to discuss with you, me, or any other is her call." He turned back to the controls he had been fiddling with. "It's not my place to question her."

"Oh, so we're back to the obedient turian," Joker scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Garrus shot a glare over his shoulder. "What's it to you, anyway, Joker? You don't care, you've said yourself. So leave me alone."

Angered again, Joker's hands curled into fists but he resisted punching anything (or anyone). He really didn't need a broken hand just then. "I _don't_ care what you two do or don't do, but I do care about the Commander, she saved my life." Joker stopped talking abruptly; he didn't make a habit of bringing that up.

Garrus' voice was gravely, almost kind when he answered. "She's saved all of us at some point, Joker."

He waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, and I've pulled all of your asses out of the fire more than once. But she died to save me. I thought I'd have to live with that. So…yeah…" he fumbled for a way to end that dramatic statement and failed.

The silence stretched so long Joker was read to tear his hair out. "I'll see what I can do," Garrus finally said.

"That'd be great," Joker muttered, pushing himself upright.

Garrus looked back at him. "You know, I didn't realize the Commander and I provided so much fuel for gossip."

Joker snorted. "Are you kidding? You'd think who's hooking up was more important than saving the galaxy the way some people talk."

_A/N: Thank you to Undead Fox and Lady Malice1138 for your favs, and to KP-X for the alert. Hope you're not disappointed_

_Scorcese: Thank you so much for your reviews. Fights happen just as surely as light, comfortable moments :3_

_Addendum: I have some concepts about some of the secondary characters that others may not agree with, Joker in particular, things the game doesn't take the time to address. Take this as a forewarning, if you will._


	13. Conflict: To Forgive

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_Just finished reading Mass Effect: Revelation. Gives a bit of insight into Saren when he was just an antagonist, not the villain. I liked it._

It wasn't easy finding a place to get a private word with the Commander, particularly now that Garrus was aware of and self-conscious about the fact that their relationship was a topic of discussion. Ultimately he waited until Donnelly and Daniels had gone to bed and enlisted Tali's help, having her send a message saying she wanted to discuss something in engineering.

"I knew it wasn't Tali who wanted to see me," Shepard said dryly when she entered and saw him waiting there. "When she wants to talk to me, she finds me and does so."

Garrus grimaced, but took heart from the fact that she came anyway. "I wanted to apologize for hurting you. That was never my intent."

"At the time I wasn't sure," she said coolly. "A little medi-gel and I was fine."

"But you are upset with me." She shook her head but Garrus knew she had to be. "I understand, Commander. I went over the line and I am sorry."

"Garrus, I'm not upset with you," Shepard said.

Garrus dropped his gaze. "You have not spoken to me in days, you have avoided the crew deck. I assumed you…changed your mind about things."

She didn't answer right away, and then she stepped closer and touched his arm carefully. "I haven't." There was affection in her voice again, something he hadn't realized he'd longed to hear. "I felt we needed a little space, though. I was wrong to confront you as soon as we got back, but I…" she looked away and let her arm fall. "I felt raw, I wasn't thinking clearly. _I_ am sorry, I feel like I went looking for a fight."

Garrus smiled lopsidedly though it was humorless. "Don't we deal with enough fights, Commander?"

She returned his grin crookedly. "You are right about that." She turned a little to walk past him, towards the mass effect core. After a hesitation, he followed, but stayed a little back when she braced her hands against the rail. "I don't know if you'll like my answer to your question, Garrus."

"My question?"

"Why." Her head hung a little lower between her shoulders. "Why, why, why. You already blame yourself for the death of your team, you hate yourself. I know you do, don't try to tell me otherwise." He didn't, but he found he had to look away from her. "Killing Sidonis wouldn't have changed that. I was afraid it would make it worse. I didn't want to lose you to the merciless anger that you're still learning to live with."

"Commander—"

"I'm not finished." Her hands tightened on the railing, knuckles white with tension. "Vido had to die. I wasn't expecting Zaeed to do that. I didn't know he'd sacrifice dozens of civilians to get to him. I didn't know _I_ could do that. I wish I hadn't. I think killing Zaeed might have been easier than listening to those people…" she turned her face away from him. "I'm sorry, Garrus. I had to do it. Killing Vido would cripple the Blue Suns. I was carrying out my revenge just as much as Zaeed was."

"You revenge?" Garrus was startled; she had never mentioned anything of the sort.

She nodded, taking a deep breath and looking at him again. He hadn't realized how tired she looked until he face those red-rimmed eyes. "Blue Suns, Bloodpack, Eclipse."

Garrus opened his mouth to question her again and then it clicked, and then he was sure he was wrong, she wouldn't…but he had seen her hard, focused eyes when she walked away from that factory worker begging for help, and she stood before him now in a conflict of regret and conviction. "Oh."

She laughed slightly at his surprise and relaxed her grip on the railing, flexing her stiff fingers. "So, no, I haven't changed my mind about things. About us."

Garrus stepped closer and stopped beside her. "Neither have I."

Despite the chill that pervaded the engineering level her body was warm when she leaned against him. "Good."

_Thank you for the story alert, Mirage Flames, and to SammiexKnightxMagic for the story AND author alert. I hope you're pleased with this installment. Thank you for the compliments, Sammie :3_

_Scorcese, I am beyond thrilled by your persistence in offering me reviews for each chapter, but I don't mean for you to pull teeth to come up with one ;( I believe I mentioned in the previous chapter, but I'll say again, Joker says some funny stuff if you lurk behind his chair, a strong inspiration for this whole arc ^_^_

_Gentle Breezes, as soon as I did Zaeed's mission I knew that, realistically, it'd've had to be dealt with. Unfortunately the game is sometimes limited in scope :(_

_Thank you all again!  
><em>


	14. No Joke, a Denial

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_A/N: I debated about posting this in this anthology because Shepard doesn't dominate in it, but it is for the same play through and it's touching on something I think the game missed. Brace yourselves and proceed with caution._**  
><strong>

"Hey, I'm getting depressed over here, somebody say something funny," Joker spoke suddenly, breaking the quiet that gripped the medical room. The two women stared at him, at least, he felt like Tali was staring; her face plate was turned to him anyway. "Or not."

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Jeff, but we have to be careful," Chakwas said, a small, patient smile on her lips. "Tali could get an infection from even a few moments' exposure."

"And I need to be in top form. This fever is getting the better of me." Her frustration was clear across the room.

"Yeah, you might blow up the mass core if you get sloppy. Carry on."

As he waited, he sank again into the contemplations he was trying to avoid. He didn't know if he'd call Chakwas or Tali a friend but they were somewhere between important and irrelevant. They had been on the Normandy, Tali had ensured she was capable of doing anything he asked of the beauteous original. Some nights he wondered if they might have survived that Collector attack if only she'd been with the engine, fine tuning its needs and reacting to the situation. But then maybe she would have died; almost everyone else in engineering had.

And Chakwas _had _been there, she had burns she didn't talk about and she sat if she could help it so no one noticed her favoring her right leg. Joker only knew because he had seen her pulled out of that escape pod and had been stabbed by a fear of losing her at a time he thought he was too numb to feel anything else. So maybe Chakwas was a friend.

After her treatment, Tali relaxed and stayed while Chakwas did her check up on Joker and after standing for so long, Chakwas couldn't hide a spasm of pain that crossed her face and she gripped her thigh. "Doctor, are you alright?" Tali was up and at her side in a moment.

"I'm fine, Tali, just…war wounds." She didn't fight the quarian's assistance to her usual seat and stretched her leg carefully.

"I didn't realize you were on a battlefield," Tali said, hovering nervously for a moment before perching on the chair near Chakwas. Joker watched the doctor intently as he too stretched his legs, wondering what she would say.

Chakwas sighed, swiping her hair out of her face with fingers that trembled. "I wasn't, technically. I was pinned by the collapsing ceiling in the med room on the original Normandy. A piece of my leg was left there. I don't know who pulled me out."

"Laflamme and Gladstone," Joker said quietly. "They went back for more but didn't…" he stopped. He didn't like talking about that.

An awkward silence claimed them for a while. "We couldn't get a clear answer of who lived and died for a long time," Tali finally remarked quietly, tracing a design on her suit idly. "Not that anyone in the Fleet really cared, although they were interested. I only knew that Shepard had died. You two had disappeared. Cerberus' doing, I guess." Anger tinted her voice.

"No, plain old cover-ups and politics," Joker said with disgust. "But never mind that, lets keep bitching about Cerberus, it's not like they can hear us."

"Very funny, Joker." It sounded like Tali might be smiling; he took pride in that.

"I know what you're doing, Jeff." He hated to see Chakwas' kind smile; it wounded and soothed at the same time, or maybe he was just a bit prickly.

"Heading back to the bridge, yep, you're right about that." He wasn't going to let her talk about this now, not ever, especially not around Tali. He liked her, that much was easy enough, but that only went so far. "Don't stay up too late, girls."

He hobbled out of there as fast as he could and back to CIC. Shepard wasn't in sight, but Kelly was and for some stupid reason he paused rather than ignoring her per usual. "Hey, I've—" he stopped but she was already looking at him expectantly, big eyes curious, big lips curved in a friendly way. "…got a question."

"Certainly I will answer as best I can." She seemed pleased that he was interacting with her and he grimaced at the full brunt of her attention.

Huffing at his own idiocy, Joker jammed his hands in his pockets and plowed on. "Is there a name for when you…like, when someone keeps thinking about something that happened, something bad?"

Kelly pursed her lips and tipped her head thoughtfully. "I need a little more than that, Joker. What bad thing are we talking about?"

Feeling trapped and irritable, he shook his head and stepped back. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Wait," she extended an arm, preparing to stop him from leaving but didn't touch him. "Is it…are we talking about a friend who's thinking about this?"

"Yeah, sure." Friends. Right.

"What did this bad thing involve? What happened?"

He sighed again and reminded himself this was his fault. "Someone dying. People dying." He looked around the CIC but saw someplace narrower, darker, a little less refined, cutting edge and new.

"Is it Doctor Chakwas? It's not uncommon for doctors to blame themselves for people they couldn't save." He scrambled to pay attention to what she was saying and peered at her curiously and then flinched away. Her words followed the misdirect, but her shrewd gaze had him pinned. "Sometimes it's called survivor's guilt."

"Great, thanks, I'll let her know."

Joker swung around to make for the bridge. This time she did touch his arm; he jerked away, feeling slightly violated but she ignored his angry expression. "Do you—"

"No." What he wouldn't give to be able to move faster, but at least she didn't follow him. Dropping into his seat carelessly, he grimaced and then crowed at EDI's projection. "Honey, I'm home. Did you miss me?"

"Doctor Chakwas does not suffer from survivor's guilt."

Joker ground his teeth and rolled his eyes. "You need to learn not to eavesdrop."

"There are no eaves on the Normandy."

"Shut up, you stupid soup can."

_Scorcese, hooray for resolution :3 Thank you for your continued comments_

_SammiexKnightxMagic, I appreciate the compliments ^_^_


	15. No Joke, an Honesty

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

.

Hearing her footsteps, he rotated the chair to face her. "Commander?"

"I assume everything's going well up here?"

Her usual check up, making the rounds of the ship and keeping up-to-date with personnel. He opened his mouth for his usual complaints about EDI, but no sound emerged. At her raised eyebrow he closed his mouth, but still couldn't come up with an answer. "EDI, go away." She didn't look away from him when she snapped out the order and the AI obeyed immediately.

Something in his brain finally stirred. "That's not fair, she never listens when I tell her to go away."

"The difference is, I mean it." He knew he was screwed now, she wasn't going to leave until he explained himself. Unless a crisis came up, but she'd be right back as soon as she saved a colony, defeated an army, jump started a star, who knew what. "What's on your mind, Joker? I've noticed something's been bothering you the last couple days."

"More like months," he muttered bitterly. "Years. You know it'd be nice if someone put a chair or a bench in here or something. Then I could have visitors, and you wouldn't be looming over me all…imposing and commander-y. I've only got one escape route, too, you notice that? What if the airlock blows or something? I'd be stuck up here."

"Joker." He stopped rambling. "Spit it out."

Her and Chakwas both with that kindness that cut, he hated it. "It's nothing, really, Commander. Just been thinking about the old Normandy." She crossed her arms and waited. Why did she have to be perceptive _and_ patient? And have enough determination a black hole couldn't swallow. "Having Tali back again…it makes a difference. Quarians just understand engines so well, or at least she does. There's always some kick on a ship with FTL drives, I mean, we're forcing materials to do things they're not meant to. But Tali knows how to gentle that some, it makes accuracy and speed so much better, and I don't have to spend as much time compensating."

What are you dancing for? He asked himself angrily. You were never good at it, and it's not like the Commander will kick you off the ship. Even if she doesn't understand she knows how much the Normandy means to you, and she _knows_ no one can fly her better.

"I felt like I failed her and I failed the Normandy and I failed you all." Shepard didn't move or speak or even change her expression, watching him intently. He knew she'd understand, even when it was almost a minute before he could say anything more and he had to rotate his chair and look away from her to do it. "You should have let me go with the Normandy."

"No, I shouldn't have. We need you now for this mission. Why would I want to lose one of the best pilots in the galaxy?"

Anger bubbled up in his chest briefly, but a hard exhale and he was under control again. "You don't understand, Commander."

"Yes, I do, Joker." He heard her step closer and flinched away but she didn't try to touch him. "Trust me, you'll get another chance to show them what you can do. Just hang in there."

"I won't let you down, Commander. Not this time."

_Joker's always gotta get the last word :) This was a spin-off idea from the second part of Conflict, when Joker's scolding Garrus and this popped out and it made sense to me, so I gave it some attention. Think what you will._

_Thank you to ntmnky and voltagelisa for your story alerts, and thank you Scorcese for your continued support ^_^  
><em>


	16. Outtake 11: Holocaust

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_Last ficlet that fits into canon. There will be one bonus chapter and then the story will be closed at least until the third game, possibly for good._**  
><strong>_Immediately post Arrival DLC._**  
><strong>

Shepard waited until the airlock had sealed entirely behind Hackett before turning back to the CIC. She knew Joker was watching her but hoped he had the discretion not to show it. Her hand ached as she gripped the datapad and forced herself to move around the galaxy map no quicker than usual. Even in the elevator her back was straight, her shoulders set, but the datapad began to shake.

The doors slid open and she stepped out before her knees buckled

"Garrus."

The turian jumped and only just kept his tools from tumbling into the main battery, exhaling slowly as he secured them and then turned to glare at EDI. "What?"

"I believe Commander Shepard requires your assistance."

He crawled out from under the control panel. "What do you mean? Where is she?"

"Outside her quarters. She fell."

"Fell?" But Garrus didn't wait for an explanation, striding down the corridor and leaping into the elevator. The doors hadn't opened all the way when he heard the click of a pistol and reached for his own instinctively, fearing some sort of infiltration and worse. In the same moment, Shepard realized who had arrived and shifted the barrel so it pointed up and not at him. Letting his hand fall, Garrus blinked, bewildered at the state she was in. She had seemed fine not ten minutes before when she left the medical lab with Admiral Hackett.

They stared at each other awkwardly for several seconds and then Shepard forced an uneven smile to contort her mouth, waving her pistol by her head. "This is what happens when my brave face gets broken," she rasped, pulling her knees up defensively. "What are you doing here?"

Garrus opened his mouth and his mandibles fluttered madly as a dozen questions flew through his mind but died before being voiced. Then he swallowed and held out a hand. "Helping you up." She stared at his fingers in silence as though transfixed and then grasped them with her free hand and let him pull her to her feet. He glanced down at the pistol and then at her blotchy face. "Do you still need that?"

She also looked down at the weapon, raised it slightly and paused, then holstered it. Garrus didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until she did. "I'm just…so…addled, I hardly know what's up and down anymore," she murmured, gaze still down cast.

Garrus touched her cheek, feeling the damp clamminess of her skin, drawing her eyes to his face. "You need to rest," he said quietly. She did not resist when he took her arm and guided her into the cabin, although she went to the bed when he meant to seat her on the couch.

Without hesitation he knelt to take off her boots, which she didn't seem to realize until he was almost done. "Thank you. Garrus, what did you do to murderers on Omega?"

He sat back on his heels, weighing his answer and watching her face closely. "A clean shot in the head if I could help it. Why?"

Shepard shook her head and closed her eyes. "Just wondering. Will you come to bed with me?"

Garrus stood and gripped her face so she couldn't turn away from him. "Shepard, open your eyes." For a moment she didn't, and her fingers wrapped tightly around his wrists as though she were considering fighting. Then her eyelids slowly rose and her dazed violet gaze was trapped by his dark eyed scrutiny. "I will do anything you need me to, no matter what." His hands slid down to her shoulders and he pulled her back up, holding her close and wishing for the first time in his life that he had warm and supple flesh to comfort her with. She had released his wrists and her arms hung at her sides. "I know you do what is necessary." Her eyes were a little clearer but still blood shot and tormented. "I will not shoot you in the head."

She nodded slightly, gaze drifting again. "I know you won't. But do you realize what I've done?"

"I know you made the decision no one else could, what had to be done to stop the Reapers." He felt the tremors she fought to suppress and held her tighter.

"Delayed." A short, bitter chuckle spilled from her lips. "Delayed the Reapers. The only way to stop them would be to destroy every Mass Relay, and then we might as well let them come, because doing that would kill us all anyway."

"Shepard, you need to sleep. You have to give yourself time to recover." Garrus had never known her to be so compliant to being moved around as he sat her on the bed again. She scooted back towards the center but didn't lay down; he kept his seat on the edge.

"Is there even a word for that? It's bigger than murder, but not genocide." She smirked humorlessly, picking at the hem of her top. "A tiny blessing. What about it, Garrus? What would you call it? What would a turian word be for that?"

"Shepard, they would have been slaughtered by the Reapers if you—"

"I know that," she snapped. "But what kind of a world is it that killing three hundred and five thousand people is the right thing to do? In what galaxy is that heroic?"

Garrus twisted to grip her hands and free them from their entanglement with her hair before she ripped it out. "I don't know, Shepard." Her passion and anger vanished and she visibly deflated with slumped shoulders and a hanging head. "I'm sorry. It's…the universe isn't black and white, but I guess gray can get pretty dark." She had sunk into a brooding silence and helpless confusion frustrated the turian as he scrambled for the right thing to say. She was the one gifted with inspiring words, not him. "Don't you…I've heard a human saying about darkness before dawn. Sounds to me like that's where you are now. You have to remember there's a reason we're doing this."

He wasn't entirely sure she heard him until she moved her lips soundlessly, and then cleared her throat to speak. "The darkest hour is just before the dawn. Thomas Fuller." Now she stretched out on the bed, folding her hands on her stomach. Garrus waited to see if she was going to continue and then lay beside her, pressing his mouth to her temple and curling an arm around her waist. He didn't say more; there was nothing he could do for her but hold her while she wept.

_To PROphecy999, Drizzit101 and Zero612 a thank you for the favs and alerts. I'm sorry I don't have more to serve them at this time._

_Voltagelisa, I've always been under the impression Joker got a lot of attention, but thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it._

_RevealedGrace, I appreciate the review and that you approved my interpretation with Joker._

_Just one more bonus chapter and after that a steamy ficlet that I'll post separately so I don't have to up the rating. Thank you to those who stuck with me!_


	17. Bonus Chapter: Captain Shepard

**Title: Artemisia Shepard, War Hero  
>By: Midnight Unicorn<br>**Disclaimer: Main character semi-mine, others and places are not

_Author's Note: Thank you everyone for your support and affection for my ficlet. On with the bonus and then we wait for Mass Effect 3!_

If someone had pointed out Hannah Shepard on the street, Garrus would have thought they were joking in saying she was related to Commander Shepard. Barely five feet tall, fine-boned and pale, she bore little resemblance to her galaxy-saving daughter until he met her pure sapphire-colored eyes and saw the same iron will in the lines around them.

"Garrus Vakarian, I take it?" Her voice was a higher tone, but no less dry. "Have a seat. Is there a particular reason you chose to meet me without my daughter present?"

"She'll be here," he said quickly, before remembering to sit as commanded. Their table at the Presidium café was set behind a pillar beside a balcony so they had a view of the financial district and the white Council tower. "Councilor Anderson wanted a word with her as soon as she was able."

"I know." She bore a small smile, telling him she was not fooled. "My question stands. Is it to find out how I feel about my daughter having a turian lover?"

"Well, that was part of it," he stammered. "I know many humans, particularly Alliance soldiers of a certain generation, tend to hold a negative view of turians still. It is understandable, though sometimes…difficult."

"Let me put you at east. I am indifferent to your species, I care only how you treat my daughter." She leaned forward in her seat a little. "I have not heard anything about you to indicate I should be worried. Do not prove me wrong." Though she did not seem to be armed, Garrus got the same feeling from her sharp gaze that he got when a sniper scope turned on him. A moment later she relaxed in her chair again. "Now that that's settled, what can I do for you?"

Garrus fumbled for several seconds over how to begin, despite many preparations in his mind. "When all this is over, the Reapers, whatever else, the imminent threats to the galaxy can wait a few months, I want to take her somewhere, a trip or vacation, somewhere she's always wanted to go. I've asked her but she just shrugs and tells me 'no place particular.' I was hoping you could give me a hint or an idea."

Again she smiled, lazy and meaningless. "You should trust what Misia tells you." He started a little at the nickname. "We raised her on ships so she wouldn't be afraid of space, adventure, other species. But as a result, she's always called planet-side life boring. She once told me planets are beautiful from space, not the ground." Her expressions became a little softer, a little more genuine. "So you'd do better to find a space station to relax on, but my daughter has never been much of a 'shore leave' type."

"I've noticed." She laughed at his weary tone. "Do you know what it's like to live on a ship that's wall to wall surveillance and equipped with an AI? Most days I don't mind, but sometimes a sense of privacy would be nice."

"An AI? Fascinating."

"Don't pretend you didn't know, mother." Shepard strolled into view and sat beside Garrus, giving him a quick smile. "Have you had your fun?"

"Not nearly as much as I'd have liked," Hannah hummed. "So tell me what you can of where you've been."


End file.
